


you've got the devil on your shoulder

by BananasofThorns



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Gaslighting, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Minecraft Mechanics, Panic Attacks, especially the ones with Dream, i mean. not technically but i'm gonna assume that this won't happen in canon, if you're uncomfortable with any part of Ranboo's panic room scenes, maybe don't read this fic, stay safe y'all!, that's like. by far not the focus of the fic though, very slightly but. it's c!dream so yknow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28736061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananasofThorns/pseuds/BananasofThorns
Summary: Ranboo steps onto the small strip of sand, clenching and unclenching his fists as the ocean washes over his boots. Behind him, Techno grunts.“Wait, you’re goin’ underwater?”Ranboo glances over his shoulder and cringes at the flat look Techno is giving him. “The entrance is underwater so...yeah.”“Aren’t you half-enderman?”“...yeah? It’s not that bad, though, I’m used to it.”It still burns a lot, but with his armor, it’s not that bad and he always heals up pretty quick. Techno...doesn’t need to know that, Ranboo decides.Ranboo goes with Techno to retrieve his animals from the panic room. It's all fun and games until Dream decides to make a reappearance.
Relationships: Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 53
Kudos: 1305





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [title from New Invention - I Don't Know How But They Found Me]
> 
> did anyone ask for Ranboo angst? have some Ranboo angst

“Thanks for coming with me, by the way,” Ranboo says, glancing at Techno over his shoulder as they skirt around the ruins of L’manberg. “You didn’t have to, I would’ve been fine on my own.”

Probably, anyway. It’s actually kind of nice to not have to go to his panic room alone, for once, but he’ll never admit that aloud.

Techno shrugs. “Eh. I needed somethin’ to do, anyway, it’s no big deal. Where are we goin’, again?”

“Oh, uh—” Ranboo hops over the small channel behind Jack’s house, wincing when his boots slip on the gravel. “It’s a little room I made, I guess, where I put my pets for Doomsday. I just haven’t gotten around to getting them back, so—”

He cuts himself off with a shrug. Techno hums.

“It’s a little out of the way, I’m not gonna lie to you, this seems a little inconvenient.”

Ranboo laughs, then internally cringes at how awkward it sounds. “Yeah, a little. It’s fine, though, I don’t mind. I’m used to it by now.”

Techno hums again, and they continue the rest of the walk in silence. Ranboo bounces ahead, shaking his hands in an attempt to get rid of some of his excess nervous energy. It’s not like he’s _scared_ of Techno, really (okay, he is, but he’s trying not to be), it’s just that they haven’t been alone since...everything. And since Ranboo came to live with him and Phil in the arctic. Techno said it was fine, he knows he did, but...something about the way the man just looms silently is very off-putting.

It doesn’t help that Ranboo’s anxiety kicks up whenever he gets close to the panic room, now. The name is fitting, he supposes, but it’ll be nice to never have to think about the place again once he gets his pets.

“We’re here,” he announces, toeing at the dirt above the room. “Uh...it’s a bit cramped in there, so...I’ll be right back, I guess.”

Techno nods slowly. “Alright.” Ranboo steps onto the small strip of sand, clenching and unclenching his fists as the ocean washes over his boots. “Wait, you’re goin’ underwater?”

Ranboo glances over his shoulder and cringes at the flat look Techno is giving him. “The entrance is underwater so...yeah.”

“Aren’t you half-enderman?”

“...yeah? It’s not that bad, though, I’m used to it.”

It still burns a lot, but with his armor, it’s not that bad and he always heals up pretty quick. Techno...doesn’t need to know that, Ranboo decides.

Techno’s ear twitches and he crosses his arms. “If you say so.”

“I—”

“Look, I don’t care that much,” Techno says. “Go get your animals. I’ll be here.”

Ranboo stares at him, avoiding eye contact by looking at the thick scar on Techno’s cheek instead. _Yeah,_ he thinks, stepping into the waves and diving beneath the surface. _Figures._

The statement shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but the sting from the water on his exposed skin takes his mind off it pretty well. He drops into the panic room, nearly slipping when excess water pools beneath his feet. Enderchest meows and he chuckles, kneeling down to pet the cat’s head. Gods, he’s missed his animals.

“Hey, guys,” he says softly, reaching over to Enderpearl and Jjjjjjjjeffrey. His dog woofs, tail wagging as it pounces on his chest, and he laughs when it almost knocks him over. “Hey, buddy! Yeah, I missed you, too. I should probably name you at some point, huh?”

His dog barks again and Ranboo pats its head as he stands, narrowing his eyes at the water just past the doorway.

“How am I....” he murmurs, glancing between his pets and the opening. His eyes catch on the signs and he shudders, digging his nails into his palms to stop his hands from shaking.

**DREAM IS THE REASON.**

_“Welcome back.”_

Ranboo tenses, straightening up so fast that he almost cracks his head against the ceiling. Cold dread constricts around his lungs and he pushes it back, fighting to breathe. 

“No, you can’t— leave me alone. I don’t want you here.”

 _“I can’t leave; I’m you.”_ He can almost hear Dream’s smile, and he shudders as a chill runs down his spine.

“I don’t _want_ you! Why can’t you just...go away?”

 _“I can’t,”_ Dream repeats, infuriatingly calm. _“I’m a part of you. You just haven’t accepted it yet.”_

“But you’re not,” Ranboo argues. “You’re— no. There’s not...there’s no way. I’ve never talked to you— I’ve only heard you in here. In my panic room. You’re not...there’s no way, that’s not possible, I don’t— you’re not real! You can’t be! You’re just a, a figment of my imagination, or something, but you’re not a part of _me._ ”

_“But I am; you just don’t listen when I try to talk to you when you’re not here. Why don’t you listen?”_

“I don’t— I don’t _want_ to listen to you, frankly! I don’t like this! This isn’t— this can’t be real. This is a trick, or, or an illusion, or something. You are not me. You’re lying.”

Dream hums. _“How do you know? You don’t write down everything; maybe you’ve just forgotten. You had to have.”_

“I didn’t...no. I would’ve remembered if I— if I did what you said.”

Ranboo steps back until he’s pressed against the wall, then scrambles for his memory book. It takes him a few tries to grab it because his hands are shaking so hard, and the words are blurry through his sudden tears, but nothing has changed. There’s no mention of him blowing up the Community House, or helping Dream, or—

“ _Would you?”_

“Yes!” Ranboo digs his nails into the cover of his book. Outside, the waves splash, but he barely notices. “...would I? I...I don’t know. I can’t— I don’t _know!_ Gods, why can’t I remember! Why can I never remember! I would...I wouldn’t forget that. There’s— there’s no way, right? I remember important things, and that. That seems pretty important! So why don’t I remember?”

 _“You do, you just don’t accept it._ I’m _you, and I remember it, so that means you did it, right?”_

“No, no, that— shut up, shut up, shut up, you’re not real, there’s no way you’re real. I’m just. I’m just imagining things! You aren’t a part of me. You’re lying. You’re lying, and I can’t remember, why can’t I remember? I just...I just need to think. I just need—”

The watery sunlight streaming through the doorway cuts off abruptly and Ranboo tenses, curling himself tighter into the corner. One of his cats brushes against his leg and he shivers, burying his head in his arms. The obsidian digs into his back through the chinks in his armor.

“Go away,” he mutters. “Go away, go away, go away, you’re just here to torture me again. You’re not— you’re not real? I don’t...I don’t know. You have to be real, right? I don’t want you here. I don’t— get out. Get—”

“Ranboo.”

The person’s voice is low, gruffer than Dream’s and far more concerned, but Ranboo presses his hands over his ears nonetheless. His dog noses at his arm and he flinches, squeezing his eyes shut. Above him, the shadow looms.

_“Hm. Interesting.”_

“Leave me alone! Get out, I don’t want you here, you’re not real, you’re not— why won’t you just leave me alone? I don’t—” he chokes on a sob, gasping for air. “Please. Please leave. I don’t— I can’t— you’re not real. You’re not real. This isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t—”

“Ranboo?” Ranboo shudders, pressing as far into the corner as he can, and above him, the person curses. “Phil! Take us back.”

The world shifts. Ranboo opens his mouth but all that comes out is a ghastly, inhuman screech that tears at his throat. For a moment, everything is void black, and panic tightens in his chest and threatens to make his limbs go numb. Then the world shifts again and something crunches beneath his feet, cold air freezing the tears on his cheeks. Everything is blinding, suddenly, and he squeezes his eyes shut. He stumbles but there’s nothing behind him, and he nearly falls before someone catches him beneath the arms.

He screams again, reaching blindly for his sword. A hand grabs his wrist, oddly gentle, and whoever is holding him lowers them both carefully to the ground.

“Ranboo,” someone says, and their voice sounds familiar but his mind is too cloudy to recognize it, “I need you to breathe, okay? You’re freaking out.”

“I— I can’t, he’s—”

“It’s okay. You’re home, I brought you and Techno back. You need to breathe. Can you do that for me?” A hand starts rubbing his back, up and down, and he focuses on the repetitive movement. His lungs still feel shattered and it still hurts when he tries to inhale too quickly, but it’s better now, a little. “Good. Just follow my hand, yeah?”

He nods, more of an erratic jerk of his head than anything else. “Where— are my—?”

The person hums; the vibrations rumble against Ranboo’s side. “Techno’s got your animals. Do you...?”

“Enderchest. Please.”

A few feet away, someone shifts, and Ranboo flinches. The person - Phil? - beside him hums again, pressing their hand gently between his shoulder blades.

“It’s just Techno, mate, you’re okay.”

“Okay. Okay, okay, okay.”

The white stabbing Ranboo’s eyes dims, slightly, as Techno kneels down in front of him. The tags on his pets’ collars jingle. 

“I don’t...which one is Enderchest?”

Despite himself, Ranboo laughs, burying the slightly hysterical sound in his arm. When he leans forward, Phil pulls his arm away, and he and Techno both wait quietly as the laughter fades. Tears start to stream down Ranboo’s face again, and he wipes them away before looking up. Techno is staring at him awkwardly, something like uncomfortable concern on his face, and Ranboo turns his attention to the animals in his arms instead.

“Enderchest is the one with the red collar. Jjjjjjjjeffrey’s the spotted one, and Enderpearl is their kid. I...I haven’t actually named the dog, yet.”

“Ah.” Techno opens his arms, allowing the animals to swarm Ranboo, who smiles weakly. “I see.”

Ranboo runs his fingers down Enderchest’s back, chuckling when Jjjjjjjjeffrey hops onto his shoulders. His dog noses at his arm, and he reaches out to pet its head. Enderpearl meows and Ranboo frowns, glancing around at all his animals.

“I don’t have enough hands for this.”

Techno snorts. Phil laughs and Ranboo startles; he’d forgotten the man was still beside him. When he glances over, Phil’s smile softens and he stands, holding out a hand to help Ranboo up.

“Sorry about touching you without asking, you were kind of freaking out,” he apologizes.

Ranboo blinks, staring blankly at Phil’s hand before realizing he should probably take it. It’s a little awkward to stand with all of his animals crowding him, but he manages to stumble to his feet without falling.

“Let’s get you some dry clothes,” Phil says as Techno turns and leads the way into the cabin. “I’m sure you’re not comfortable after sitting in the snow and everything.”

Ranboo chuckles; his hand knocks against Jjjjjjjjeffrey when he goes to rub the back of his neck, so he just pets the cat instead. “Yeah, uh...it’s not the best, I’m gonna be honest.”

Ahead of them, Techno glances over his shoulder, face unreadable. “What happened, anyway?”

“Uh—”

 _“I’m not even real,”_ the memory of Dream’s voice whispers and Ranboo flinches, shaking his head like he can force the memory out. He remembers too late that Phil and Techno are both watching him.

Panic constricts around his lungs again and he forces it back. He can’t break down, not again. Not in front of them. Jjjjjjjjeffrey mrrps, knocking his head against Ranboo’s cheek.

“You don’t have to tell us right now,” Phil says softly. “But we are going to have to talk about it at some point. Techno said—”

No. “It’s fine, it’s nothing,” Ranboo interrupts. When did they stop walking?

“Really.” Techno’s voice is flat, even more unamused than usual, and Ranboo glances at him before quickly looking away. “So that’s why I walked in on you arguing with someone that wasn’t there.”

 _No._ “It’s fine,” Ranboo repeats. “It’s...it’s nothing I can’t deal with.”

Techno raises an eyebrow and Phil hums, clearly skeptical. “We won’t talk about it until you’re ready,” he says. “But we are going to talk about it. Okay?”

Ranboo sighs. “Yeah, okay.”

“Cool. Now that that’s over,” Techno starts, and Phil laughs. Despite himself, Ranboo grins.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all seemed very interested in chapter 2, so here you go! I hope you enjoy

Dream comes to visit Techno one day, and Ranboo notices too late. He’d been in the basement, trading with Orphan for more ender pearls, and it’s only once he’s halfway up the ladder to the house’s main floor that he hears Dream’s voice and freezes.

“...wanted to check in,” Dream says; the words send panic shooting through Ranboo’s chest, freezing him in place. “See how you guys were doing.”

“We’re good,” Techno replies. “Was that all?”

A pause. Ranboo feels like he’s going to shake out of his own body and he squeezes his fists tight around the ladder’s rungs, grounding himself in the way the rough wood digs into his palms.

Finally, Dream says, “Yep. I’ll talk to you later, then?”

“Bye,” Techno sing-songs, monotone. A beat of silence, and then the door closes.

Ranboo drops from the ladder, barely noticing the foot and a half fall, and scrambles away from the opening until his back hits a wall. He almost trips over a boat in his haste; the villager inside it grunts but he barely spares it a glance, pressing his hands over his ears like it’ll stop the echo of Dream’s voice in his head.

“Not again,” he mutters, curling his fingers into his hair. “Not again, not again, not again.”

The second memory book is heavy in his pocket. He’s shaking, and he slides to the ground and he curls himself as small as he can to try to stop it. The corner of a chest digs into his back. Across the room, the ladder creaks.

“...Ranboo?”

Ranboo shoots to his feet, swaying when he almost overbalances; he presses himself into the corner between the wall and the chests to stay upright, staring at Techno’s chest to avoid eye contact. Techno frowns.

“Are you...?”

“Does Dream know I’m here?” Ranboo blurts before he can stop himself.

Techno blinks. “Not that he’s said. Why?”

“Don’t tell him. Please. I don’t...I don’t want him to know where I am. More than he already does.”

“Okay? That’s not gonna be a problem, man, Dream and I don’t talk much outside of business.” Techno squints, stepping forward. Ranboo presses himself further against the wall. “You don’t look so good.”

“I—” Ranboo inhales shakily, digging his nails into his arms to keep himself grounded. “I don’t...um. You remember a few weeks ago, I think? When we went to get my pets back from the panic room?”

“Panic room?” Techno repeats, and  _ oh. _ Maybe Ranboo hadn’t told them that part. “Uh, yeah, I think so. Is this about that?”

“...yeah.”

+++

It takes almost an hour for Ranboo to get the whole story out, probably because he keeps almost sending himself into another panic spiral and Phil and Techno have to pull him out. He ends up curled on the couch, both memory books on the table beside him, Phil’s wing draped over his back. Techno paces the room, looming over them both, and Ranboo tries not to feel intimidated but it’s hard, especially with the stormy look in the man’s eyes.

“I don’t want...that. Him. To be a part of me,” Ranboo concludes, digging his nails into his forearms; his sleeves dull his claws, so it doesn’t hurt that much, but the pinpricks of pain help keep him grounded. “That’s not— that’s  _ not _ me. It’s  _ not.” _

“I don’t think it’s you, mate,” Phil assures softly, and Ranboo glances at him.

“But he said—”

Techno scoffs, which is the first thing he’s said since finding Ranboo panicking in the basement. “And you’re really gonna believe him? After he apparently stole the thing most important to you and replaced it with a fake? Look, man, I’m not gonna pretend I know everything that’s goin’ on here, because I’m sure I don’t, but you said you remember things if they’re important. Blowing up the Community House seems  _ pretty fucking important, _ if you ask me.”

“That’s what I said! But I don’t...I don’t  _ know. _ What if I did? What if...what if he made me do it, or something?” Ranboo chuckles, bitter. “Peer pressure, y’know?”

Techno snorts. “Did you ever consider the fact that he’s, I dunno,  _ lying? _ I’m just sayin’, it sounds like something he would do.”

That’s...a good point, actually. Ranboo curls his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

“But how is he in my head? How does he— why is it  _ only _ the panic room that I hear him in?”

Phil hums. “I don’t know about that second point, but.” He looks up at Techno for a moment, then continues, “How much do you know about gods?”

“Gods?” Ranboo laughs shakily. “Oh, man. I know that they’re the most powerful things in the Universe, not counting, you know. The Universe itself. I know there are different types, and that they have their own language, and that they’re basically unkillable unless you’re also a god. Why?”

“That’s a lot more than I was expecting,” Techno mutters.

Ranboo shrugs. “They’re interesting, I guess. And I was bored a lot as a kid.”

“Right,” Phil nods, wings shifting, “okay. Well, one of the abilities of a god is that they can...speak, for lack of a better term, into someone’s mind, as long as they’re on the same world as that person. So—”

“So you’re saying Dream is a god.”

“ _ The _ god, technically, of this world,” Phil corrects. “But yes.”

Ranboo swallows. “And you’re saying he’s been speaking into my mind.”

Phil and Techno share another look. “Maybe. Not...not sure, yet, especially with how he’s apparently only been doing it when you’re in the panic room, but it’s a possibility.”

“I’ll do some research on it,” Techno adds. “It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do, anyway.”

Ranboo snorts. “That’s...I’m not sure if that’s reassuring or not, actually. But...I think it’s better than that voice being a part of me. Yeah. I— thank you guys, really. For everything.”

“Of course, mate. It sounds fucking horrible, what he’s been doing.”

“Yeah...yeah. It was. It really was.” Ranboo laughs, muffling the sound in his arms. “Man, that sucked!”

Techno chuckles; Phil’s wing curls tighter around Ranboo’s shoulders.

“Just...stay away from the panic room for now, yeah? At least until we can figure out what’s going on.”

“Yeah, of course. I wasn’t planning on ever going back there, anyway.”

Ranboo glances over at Phil, unable to stop his smile at the concerned fondness on the man’s face. Across the room, Techno’s pacing seems more concerned than angry, now that Ranboo’s panic has lessened, and whatever fury the man has isn’t directed at anyone in the room. Ranboo sighs, leaning slightly into Phil’s half-hug with his wing.

Maybe...maybe things will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the support on this fic, I am very !!! 💛💛
> 
> also:  
> Dream is a god, and Phil and Techno are also gods, though that isn't mentioned. In terms of power, from strongest to "weakest," it would go Phil - Dream - Techno, as long as they're on Dream's world. Otherwise, it would probably be Phil - Techno - Dream. I have a whole bunch of hc lore written out so let me know if you have questions! I would be happy to answer them.

**Author's Note:**

> I can excuse the eight j's in Jjjjjjjjeffrey's name, but I draw the line at Ranboo canonically not having eyelids /hj
> 
> anyway, thank you for reading!! comments and kudos are greatly appreciated 💛💛


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